Why there are no mistakes in life
Just the other day I read that Deepak Chopra said in an interview that he doesn’t celebrate his birthday because that just reminds him that he is one year nearer to death.
I agree that the fact that we are going to die one day is pretty crappy. I love life and I surely don’t want to leave this earth for the next 50 years.
But I think, and I believe Deepak feels the same, growing old and gaining experiences and wisdom is a privilege and even if it brings you nearer to death it also brings you nearer to yourself.
I feel so much more content and happy and more like ME now than I did back when I was 15, 20, 25 or even 30.
Just a few days ago I had a huge Aha-moment. I realized that I don’t have any regret thoughts anymore about my past and I am in a state that I except and appreciate all experiences that I made. What the heck does this mean? Let me get this more clear…
Would I want to date the guys again who cheated on me or were emotionally unavailable? YES! Because without them I would not have know what I really want and need in a relationship.
Would I want to be bullied again by this group of girls in school? YES! Because this pain I experienced is the best reminder to be kind and compassionate in my life.
Would I, again, give all my energy to a job that didn’t fulfill me and made me miserable? YES! Because without it I would never have realized how I want my work life to look and what I want to fill my days with.
This is all me and I wouldn’t be the person I am if it wasn’t for all that.
Some people write a letter to their former self as a catharsis or to make peace with something from the past. To give the past self a good, caring advice. But I think there is no big advice I would give my 15-year-old alter ego. I would just give her a big hug and maybe say something like:
“I promise you there will be wonderful, happy days. And there will be the painful shit. You will laugh, love, cry, hate, desire, mourn, doubt and rejoice. You will make decisions. You will be afraid. You will question yourself and everything else. You will meet people who make you happy and people who make you sad, and people who will do both. There will be progress and regress, baby steps, big leaps, downfalls and slumps. Success and failure. There will be life, a lot of it. Juicy, bittersweet, tricky and whimsical. Take it. All of it. It is yours and yours alone. A song that is just written for you. Just BE there. Be love, be kind. As often as you can. Because in the end it is all that matters.”
I have no clue what the future holds and I know that the sun will not always shine and sometimes it scares me big time. I come from a family of worriers and I have a long, neat list of fears in my pocket. But at least, one fear was magically taken from my shoulders. And although it is not my birthday I will celebrate this personal insight of mine:
THERE ARE NO WRONG DECISIONS.